Struggles with Infertility

Being a parent is not something that everyone has as a goal in life. But once you decide that you want to be a parent, and you are unable to, your life can either unravel, or you can try to find meaning in your struggles. This blog is me trying to find meaning.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Packing up and moving on.

Perspective and hormones seem to dictate how easy or hard it is for me to move on. I've had two 'moving on' events in my life recently: a new job, and the final step in taking the summer off from trying to conceive.

Last month I said I'd be packing up all of my pregnancy tests and getting rid of all the used ones I kept (weird, I know) and it took me a full four weeks to feel like I was ready to do it. About a week ago, I finally started gathering up all of my pregnancy tests scattered around the house and threw them out. It was sort of liberating in a way, and I didn't cry. I was ready for this step, mostly because I've finally come to terms with taking the summer off, and also because I know this isn't the end.


This is one month of pregnancy tests. There has to be at least $150 worth in there, and this isn't including all of my cheapy internet strips, nor the ones I had already thrown out. Sad, isn't it? Sadder still that I took a pregnancy test right after gathering these all up, just in case.

In other 'moving on' news, I started my new job this past Tuesday. So far, it's awesome and a bit scary. Apparently they think I know what I'm doing and that I'll be a superstar, so it'll be a busy few months.

Another update will be coming soon - I talked to the nurse at the Fertility Clinic today about donating eggs to my sister at the same time as we do our IVF. It's a go! I'm just waiting for the information packet and I'll outline the process. The only bad news is that it sounds like we may be waiting a bit longer just because of scheduling for all of the stuff we have to do to prepare for it, so the IVF(s) might not happen until October or November. Fingers crossed for Christmas babies!