Quick and dirty update: As of last Thursday, August 18, my beta was below 5, so back to non-pregnancy levels. It went down faster then I thought, to be honest.
Kind of interesting - the afternoon before I did a FRER pregnancy test I had sitting in my desk and it was faintly positive. Must have just caught the tail end of the drop!?
Unfortunately, I've had a rough couple of days, though today feels a bit brighter (could be on account of the sun and warmth). I had a few run-in's with pregnant people and babies on Saturday, and that progressed in to me feeling really sorry for myself. I get all sad and kind of just drag myself around when I am in moods like this, and although I'm not snappy or bitchy, I am pretty boring to be around because I get quiet and don't want to be around people. I guess it's a blessing in disguise that Derek's worked the last two nights and is out camping/hiking with a buddy tonight. Sometimes you just need to be alone, you know? Plus, I've been catching up on one of my favourite TV series and there is lots of unwarranted crying involved, but it feels good.
Anyhow, I did the sweep over the weekend and got rid of my dozens of positive pregnancy tests except for one - the darkest one from 18 DPO. I still have one from my pregnancy last summer, and decided I'd keep one from this pregnancy too. Something to remember, I guess, since there really isn't anything else.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Moving forward - September can't come soon enough!
We are booked in and have a schedule for the next few months! The seminar/appointments take place on September 21 and 22.
September 21 from 7 pm to 9 pm we have a seminar on what exactly will happen, including drugs, egg retrieval, fertilization and transfer for both of us.
September 22 is full of appointments:
8:30 am to 9:30 am: Psychologist
10:00 am: I have an ultrasound / Lara has an ultrasound and sonohysterogram (don’t read my post about my sonohysterogram Lara!)
10:00 am and 10:15 am: Semen Analysis for the guys
2:00 pm: Meet with our primary doctor, Dr. Scott, and our awesome nurse Kathy to do a final discussion
Lara will be starting her mock cycle the same week to test her response over about seven or eight weeks. She’ll be on Suprefact, Estrace (estrogen) and Prometrium (progesterone) and has an ultrasound 14 days after starting the Estrace to check her lining.
If all goes well, we will be starting to cycle at the end of November or beginning of December. The clinic is closed for ten days over Christmas, so fingers crossed our cycle falls outside of those days or we’ll have to delay to January.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
I guess it's never the final chapter when you call it the final chapter.
I had thought the end would come with the methtrexate shot. Boy, was I wrong.
On Wednesday, July 20, I had the methtrexte shot to induce miscarriage of an embryo that wasn't developing properly. They couldn't find it in my uterus, and also didn't see anything in my tubes. We thought this was the end.
On Sunday, July 24, Derek and I headed out to a road race (cycling) that Derek was participating in. Around 8:30 am, I started experiencing moderate pain on my left side. I took a couple of Tylenol, but it didn't really make a difference. By the time the race was done, around 11:30 am, the pain had increased to the point that I sort of started to worry. We were an hour out of town and I made the decision to come home and go to the hospital.
Half way home, I had a flash of hot pain in the left side of my back, which really scared me, so we headed to the nearest town - Okotoks - and I went to the ER. The on call doctor felt around my abdomen, said he didn't feel any free fluid, gave me a form for an ultrasound and a prescription for painkillers and sent me home. I didn't feel comfortable with this at all, so I called the fertility clinic.
After a discussion with my doctor, we decided to wait until the following day, a Monday, for me to come in extra early and she'd do a blood test and an ultrasound. I arrived at 7:00 am and she finally saw something - on my left tube. Just 'something'. I went for the blood test and then headed for work, still in moderate pain.
Tuesday morning I again went to work, loaded up on pain medication, and waited for them to call. My parents were arriving that afternoon and we were to head out for a family vacation the next day, on Wednesday. I went home at noon and gave mom and dad a bit of an update about what was happening.
At 2:00 the clinic called. Between the previous Wednesday, when I'd had the shot, and Monday, my numbers increased from about 2100 to over 2900. Something was wrong, and the clinic asked me to come in immediately.
The doctor performed another ultrasound and finally, finally, found the mass. It was on my left tube and was about 2.5 cm. We discussed the options - another shot, or surgery - and I opted for surgery. There was still a big risk of rupture, and the risk of repeat ectopics after one is high, so removing the tube is the best way to get rid of that risk. So, mom, dad and I headed across the street to the hospital ER and checked in. Derek met us a few hours later and won husband of the year award for bringing me comfortable clothes, my iPad, facewash and lotion, and fuzzy socks.
The pain gradually grew worse and they put me on a morphine drip. At the time, I thought I was totally unaffected by it and coherent. In retrospect, I was nicely high. Good times! I forced the family out around 8:30 and waited for something to happen. Around 10:00 pm, my dear sister called the ward desk and I went up front to take the call. As I was standing there wobbling back and forth, I felt a sharp pain. I told my sister I had to go lie down and went back to my bed. The sharp pains seemed to be getting worse, even through the morphine. I could feel it spreading across to the right side and up to my diaphram. I was just about to call the nurse when she came in to let me know they were ready for me in the OR.
Surgery began around 11:00 pm and I remember looking at the clock in my room at 2:30 am or so. After a broken sleep due to vitals checks every 15 minutes, I woke up around 7:00 am. I was able to go to the washroom and walk up and down the hall by 8:00, so called Derek to come around 9:30.
The surgeon came by and said the surgery had gone well - the ectopic had ruptured, which must have been the pain I felt, and they removed my left tube. The left ovary looked good, as did my right tube and ovary. I had three incisions - in the belly button and two inch long incisions on the left lower abdomen. It was done. Finally.
I was well enough (or hopped up on enough drugs) to head out for the family vacation on Thursday, which was much needed. The worst part was that my family cracks me up, especially my dad, and laughing hurt. A lot.
We got home last night and I was back to work today (actually, I was in a course, but back to a regular schedule anyhow), and I feel ok. Still tender and sore, but totally tolerable.
I am thankful for a lot of things - my parents and husband taking care of me, that I wasn't at home when it ruptured, that I only lost the tube and not the ovary, that we can still stick to our IVF schedule, and that I have had time to heal before going back to work. I am still terrified of doing the IVF only to succeed and fail again, but I think I have to give it a shot. It just has to work this time, a person can only take so much.
Next step is Day 3 blood tests when my cycle returns, and the IVF/Egg Donor seminar in late September. Can't wait!
On Wednesday, July 20, I had the methtrexte shot to induce miscarriage of an embryo that wasn't developing properly. They couldn't find it in my uterus, and also didn't see anything in my tubes. We thought this was the end.
On Sunday, July 24, Derek and I headed out to a road race (cycling) that Derek was participating in. Around 8:30 am, I started experiencing moderate pain on my left side. I took a couple of Tylenol, but it didn't really make a difference. By the time the race was done, around 11:30 am, the pain had increased to the point that I sort of started to worry. We were an hour out of town and I made the decision to come home and go to the hospital.
Half way home, I had a flash of hot pain in the left side of my back, which really scared me, so we headed to the nearest town - Okotoks - and I went to the ER. The on call doctor felt around my abdomen, said he didn't feel any free fluid, gave me a form for an ultrasound and a prescription for painkillers and sent me home. I didn't feel comfortable with this at all, so I called the fertility clinic.
After a discussion with my doctor, we decided to wait until the following day, a Monday, for me to come in extra early and she'd do a blood test and an ultrasound. I arrived at 7:00 am and she finally saw something - on my left tube. Just 'something'. I went for the blood test and then headed for work, still in moderate pain.
Tuesday morning I again went to work, loaded up on pain medication, and waited for them to call. My parents were arriving that afternoon and we were to head out for a family vacation the next day, on Wednesday. I went home at noon and gave mom and dad a bit of an update about what was happening.
At 2:00 the clinic called. Between the previous Wednesday, when I'd had the shot, and Monday, my numbers increased from about 2100 to over 2900. Something was wrong, and the clinic asked me to come in immediately.
The doctor performed another ultrasound and finally, finally, found the mass. It was on my left tube and was about 2.5 cm. We discussed the options - another shot, or surgery - and I opted for surgery. There was still a big risk of rupture, and the risk of repeat ectopics after one is high, so removing the tube is the best way to get rid of that risk. So, mom, dad and I headed across the street to the hospital ER and checked in. Derek met us a few hours later and won husband of the year award for bringing me comfortable clothes, my iPad, facewash and lotion, and fuzzy socks.
The pain gradually grew worse and they put me on a morphine drip. At the time, I thought I was totally unaffected by it and coherent. In retrospect, I was nicely high. Good times! I forced the family out around 8:30 and waited for something to happen. Around 10:00 pm, my dear sister called the ward desk and I went up front to take the call. As I was standing there wobbling back and forth, I felt a sharp pain. I told my sister I had to go lie down and went back to my bed. The sharp pains seemed to be getting worse, even through the morphine. I could feel it spreading across to the right side and up to my diaphram. I was just about to call the nurse when she came in to let me know they were ready for me in the OR.
Surgery began around 11:00 pm and I remember looking at the clock in my room at 2:30 am or so. After a broken sleep due to vitals checks every 15 minutes, I woke up around 7:00 am. I was able to go to the washroom and walk up and down the hall by 8:00, so called Derek to come around 9:30.
The surgeon came by and said the surgery had gone well - the ectopic had ruptured, which must have been the pain I felt, and they removed my left tube. The left ovary looked good, as did my right tube and ovary. I had three incisions - in the belly button and two inch long incisions on the left lower abdomen. It was done. Finally.
I was well enough (or hopped up on enough drugs) to head out for the family vacation on Thursday, which was much needed. The worst part was that my family cracks me up, especially my dad, and laughing hurt. A lot.
We got home last night and I was back to work today (actually, I was in a course, but back to a regular schedule anyhow), and I feel ok. Still tender and sore, but totally tolerable.
I am thankful for a lot of things - my parents and husband taking care of me, that I wasn't at home when it ruptured, that I only lost the tube and not the ovary, that we can still stick to our IVF schedule, and that I have had time to heal before going back to work. I am still terrified of doing the IVF only to succeed and fail again, but I think I have to give it a shot. It just has to work this time, a person can only take so much.
Next step is Day 3 blood tests when my cycle returns, and the IVF/Egg Donor seminar in late September. Can't wait!
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