Struggles with Infertility

Being a parent is not something that everyone has as a goal in life. But once you decide that you want to be a parent, and you are unable to, your life can either unravel, or you can try to find meaning in your struggles. This blog is me trying to find meaning.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Quick and Dirty Update

Quick and dirty update: As of last Thursday, August 18, my beta was below 5, so back to non-pregnancy levels. It went down faster then I thought, to be honest.

Kind of interesting - the afternoon before I did a FRER pregnancy test I had sitting in my desk and it was faintly positive. Must have just caught the tail end of the drop!?

Unfortunately, I've had a rough couple of days, though today feels a bit brighter (could be on account of the sun and warmth). I had a few run-in's with pregnant people and babies on Saturday, and that progressed in to me feeling really sorry for myself. I get all sad and kind of just drag myself around when I am in moods like this, and although I'm not snappy or bitchy, I am pretty boring to be around because I get quiet and don't want to be around people. I guess it's a blessing in disguise that Derek's worked the last two nights and is out camping/hiking with a buddy tonight. Sometimes you just need to be alone, you know? Plus, I've been catching up on one of my favourite TV series and there is lots of unwarranted crying involved, but it feels good.

Anyhow, I did the sweep over the weekend and got rid of my dozens of positive pregnancy tests except for one - the darkest one from 18 DPO. I still have one from my pregnancy last summer, and decided I'd keep one from this pregnancy too. Something to remember, I guess, since there really isn't anything else.

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