Over the nine years I've had this blog - which sadly I don't update near as often as I used to - I've had friends and acquaintances (almost all women) reach out to me to share their stories. They share bits and pieces of their own personal journeys and I'm sad for the fact that they too have to feel the grief and despair of all the pain that is infertility. I am also always so impressed at the strength and resiliency of these women, how they can carry on with their daily lives with sorrow coursing through their bodies, as if everything is normal. They are always holding themselves together while their grief is churning within their core.
I want you to know you are not alone. There are many of us - way too many - and we are here for you. I am here for you. Reach out if you need support and feel comfortable talking about it. I'm so sorry you are going through this, it's not fair, and it's not your fault.
It's been eight months since I lost my ability to naturally conceive and I still haven't really processed it yet. If I think about it too hard I tear up and my thoughts start screaming so I think of something else. One day soon I'll face it (it really is important to face your pain and work through it so you can come out stronger on the other side), but in the meantime we continue to wait. We were officially 'on the list' in September 2019, however 'the list' is about two or three years long. Maybe one day we will get a call, and we will be able to say yes. Or maybe not. I try not to think too hard about it right now.
So in the meantime I think about all of you and how you might feel sad and grief-stricken, and a bit alone like me. But you're not. I'm here, thinking of you and hoping you find peace on the other side of this journey.
