IVF #1 - It worked...and then it didn't.

Previous to starting this whole IVF process, Derek and I discussed how and when we were going to do a pregnancy test following the transfer. I am a self admitted POAS addict, so had originally planned to test out my trigger and then (hopefully) watch the line get darker again to indicate a pregnancy. However, Derek pointed out, and rightfully so, that this whole process should involve the both of us, and we both needed to be involved in the testing. In an effort to take the pressure off, and to keep this as close to a shared process as possible, we agreed to test together on a day where we would be sure the trigger was gone, and any second line would mean a pregnancy.

There was some disagreement about the test date, but I recall that we decided to test 14 days post trigger (or 9DP3DT / 12DPO) while Derek remembers 14 days past the retrieval (11DP3DT / 14 DPO). Either way, we ended up testing on 10DP3DT / 13 DPO, this past Saturday. And we got this:

It's light, but it's a line, a line even Derek could see. It's a line that is reasonable for ten days past a three day transfer. It worked, and I cried. Derek asked why I was crying and I said I was just so happy!

But alas, it was not to be. I tested again the next day and the line didn't get any darker. Looking to calm my fears, I went in for a beta and tried my hardest to remain positive. I didn't get the results until the next day, Monday, and I knew what was coming. My beta was only 4, which is technically 'not pregnant' (below 5 is classified as not pregnant). My test that morning had been almost negative (damn those FRER's are sensitive!). By this time, I was 12DP3DT, or 15DPO.

Today is my official test day with the fertility clinic - yes, they make you wait until 18 days past retrieval - and I'm not even going to bother going in. I'll give them a call and let them know I've tested negative and schedule our WTF appointment. This is our third uterine loss (I also had an ectopic last summer) and I'm convinced there is something going on with implantation. Our plan going forward is to review the results of my repeat pregnancy loss panel and request additional immunology blood work for potential problems including increased NK cell activity and lupus.

We also need to take a few months off. Though I was happy, positive and emotionally stable through the whole IVF, I feel mentally drained at this point. In retrospect, this took a much bigger toll on us then we thought. In less then two weeks we will be in Hawaii with my parents and sister Lara for a couple of weeks, and then we head to Penticton, B.C. for ten days in mid-May, and we need it. We'll start the immunology testing in June and expect the results to take a few months. That puts us at August or September for our frozen embryo transfer (FET).

At this point in time, I don't feel like I could handle another IVF cycle. Adoption seems like a reasonable option for us at this point, and comes with a much better guarantee at close to the same price. That said, we'll see what the next year brings.