Doors

They say that when one door shuts, another one opens. In our case, one door opened, and another will now shut. I recently accepted an expat assignment with my employer in Kazakhstan with my departure set for mid-September. Unfortunately, in the province of Alberta (and in most provinces in Canada), you can not be on the adoption wait list if you are not a resident.

We officially landed on the private adoption wait list in September 2019. Between then and the end of June when we closed our file we had four consult calls. The consults were all situations slightly outside of the boxes we checked, and in three of those instances we said no. In one of those instances, we said yes, but were not selected. We also had at least one other viewing of our file by a birth mom or parents who were a perfect match to our files, but who ultimately chose another family to place their child with.

This journey started for us in 2007 with my first miscarriage. 14 years of heartbreak, hope, grief, and coming to terms with it all. There are multiple conflicting feelings about finally closing this door - sadness and relief, some anger and resentment, and maybe a bit of guilty excitement. But I won’t regret one minute of it because it’s made us who we are individually and as a couple, and brought us to this next stage of our life. 

So this is my last post and I will be officially closing this blog. I hope those that land here find some of the historical posts informative (I describe the process for a lot of fertility treatments, and touch a lot on the feelings associated with infertility), and I’ll probably come back to look at it from time to time. All the best as you walk your path to whichever door you ultimately cross through.