If there is a grieving process, I think I'm in the 'acceptance' phase. It's weird how time and diversions change your feelings about how much time you have left. What I mean is, there have been a few things that have come up that will delay the IVF a couple of months, but I think I'm ok with that. A few months ago, this would have devastated me.
Delay number one: I need to do a Sonohysterogram before they will register us for our two day IVF / Donor Program seminars, which are mandatory. The catch is that the next seminar is in July, today is Day 2 of my cycle, and they need to do the procedure on day 6 to 10 of my cycle, so we are cutting it close. It's hit and miss if they have room for the Sonohysterogram for any given person month to month, so I call on Cycle Day 1, and from there it's just a wait for a last minute call with an appointment. If I don't get in this month, we won't qualify for the July seminars. If we don't get in to the July seminars, the next ones aren't until September. I doubt we'll get in for July (I haven't heard back from the clinic since I called yesterday).
Delay number two: When I started my new job (which I LOVE!), they said that they'd prefer for me to start my Masters program in January rather then September because September will be very busy with big, big projects kicking off that I will be fully involved in. So, I called the University to get my dates changed around only to be told that they will not be offering the January class any more. So it's September, or September. I have no choice, and my boss indicated today that we will just have to figure things out. The thing is, I have a three week residency in October, and certainly can't take my medications / injections while I'm there, not to mention the monitoring that has to happen. That pushes us to November to start everything.
Another thing: our closest couple friends are pregnant. She had told me she wasn't 'ready to give up her freedom' but apparently she was, because she's eight weeks. Everyone around me is pregnant right now.
I think I'm ok with this. I've been really busy so far this summer - time in Penticton, B.C., cycling with the team, a half marathon last weekend, another half scheduled for July, family reunion on the coast in August - I'm too busy to process and / or cry right now. Is this a good thing? Or am I just holding it all in and heading for disaster? Guess we'll see.
I totally agree with you about the "acceptance" of our infertility, Emily. I feel the same way - much more zen about the whole thing. It's great that you're keeping busy these months. We have to go on with life and enjoy it! Best of luck and I hope this will be our year!
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