Anyhow, she went off birth control and got pregnant her first month off the pill. I would never wish infertility on anyone, but at the same time, I was jealous and felt like it was unfair. I found out she was pregnant while I was going through my second of three failed IUI's. I was very emotional and didn't handle it well, though I know her intentions with the way she told me were good. It was just very hard for me, as I'm sure it is for many infertile couples who have friends and family around them having babies, often more than one, while they remain childless.
Leah was born on September 25, ten days after my birthday. I got regular updates during the birth from my parents and saw pictures within a few minutes (the miracle of technology!). Even after her birth, while I was happy for my sister and her husband, I was still somewhat thankful that we lived so far away from each other and I was able to avoid a face to face situation. However, Christmas arrived and Derek and I were heading home for an early Christmas with my family.
I am in a good place right now emotionally, so felt prepared. My other sister told me she had cried when she held Leah the first time, and my mom told me 'when you look at Leah, you will see what your children will look like.' This scared me. How will I react? Will this Christmas be a horrible emotional drain on me? Am I going to devastate my sister? Am I even going to be able to hold her?
When I held Leah for the first time, and every time after that, I was in love. I felt exactly what a happy aunt should feel: love, pride, hope, joy, happiness. She's my little niece, and she fell asleep while I rocked her and she slept on my chest. I look forward to watching her grow up, amaze me with how smart she is, how kind she is, how funny she is. I can't wait for her to drive her mom crazy and call me asking if she can come visit because I'm the fun, cool aunt that takes her skiing and hiking.
And I can't wait to give her a cousin.
Emily, I wish you tons of luck in the coming months. My hubby and I have really been considering doing a shared cycle (with me as donor) because, going through IF, I really want to help somebody who should otherwise be unable to have a baby. How is your clinic handling the cycles and financials? I know you're donating to your sister so your situation is a bit different, I'm just looking for some info from somebody who's done it/ is doing it. You can email me at yourfriendzuleika@hotmail.com if you prefer, or if I'm being too mosey, I apologize.
ReplyDeleteThanks!!
Hi Zui - I don't mind the question, and I'll answer it here so everyone can see the reply.
ReplyDeleteOur clinic is not handling the finances, we are in charge of deciding how to split it. This is how we would split if we were doing a shared cycle: the recipient (my sister and BIL) pays for the med's, ultrasounds, blood tests, etc., leading up to and including egg retrieval. After the 'eggs are out', we are each responsible for any costs incured for fertilization, embryo transfer, lab fees, beta's and ultrasounds.
I'm not sure where you live, but in Canada it is illegal to sell your eggs, so you can not do anything more then share costs in this way. In the US, you are able to accept payment for donating your eggs. Because my sister and BIL are getting the benefit of my eggs, we feel it is their responsibility to pay for the harvesting of the eggs.