Struggles with Infertility

Being a parent is not something that everyone has as a goal in life. But once you decide that you want to be a parent, and you are unable to, your life can either unravel, or you can try to find meaning in your struggles. This blog is me trying to find meaning.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Lucky Cycle Number 48!

When I went in to pick up my medications and review the instructions with the nurse the other week, she specifically told me I may or may not get my period while taking Suprefact. Regardless, my period was late, so I started to panic a bit. My first thought was that I must be pregnant, so tested. BFN, of course. And then I started worrying that this might delay things, and was ready to call the clinic this morning, when AF was six days late, to ask their opinion.

What happens when AF is six days late and your lining gets to build up an extra little bit before it lets go? You have a massive period, that's what. I was violently awoken at about three this morning in a sweaty mess with horrible cramps. I laid in bed, afraid to move, trying to breath through the pain. It's a tough spot to be in - thankful it's finally here, but pissed off that it sucks so much. I finally got out of bed and started searching for pain relief. I normally take Naproxen/Aleve, but it's off the table during IVF, so my only option was aspirin, which never works well for me. Because it never works well, I don't really keep it in the house. All I had was the low dose aspirin I take daily as part of my protocol. I check the bottle and see that one to four pills at a time are recommended. I take five, which is almost equal to one extra strength aspirin. I crawl back in to bed and waited for it to kick in, finally falling asleep around 4:30 or so for an hour.

So, yay, Valentines period! I'll take that as a good sign, er, somehow. We're at t-five days and counting until the baseline appointment this Sunday. The last four or five days have gone by surprisingly fast, and my week's plans are starting to fill up, so Sunday will be here in no time. I am a bit nervous about starting the injections, and hopeful I can do them in the evening rather then the 1:00 pm to 5:00 pm window they give on the information sheet. Bringing the needles and sharps container to work is not ideal.

Fingers crossed for a good baseline appointment and for finally getting going on this! We're now officially in lucky cycle number 48 - yup, about four years of TTC now. Crazy how time can fly but seem to drag on at the same time.

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