Gestational Surrogacy

In one of my last posts, we had outlined an ambiguous long term plan involving multiple IVF's, genetic screening of the embryos, FET's and immune system suppression protocols in the hopes that I would be successful in carrying a baby to term. After some very long and heart wrenching discussions, we landed on pursuing the use of a gestational surrogate - a surrogate would (hopefully) eliminate the unknown that is my body, and the genetic screening and use of 'normal' embryos would at least give some sense of security in that respect. We are not totally eliminating my carrying a pregnancy myself, but it's no longer our focus.

We started our search last December and I slowly entered the new world of Canadian surrogacy via Facebook groups and websites offering matching services. What we've come to discover is that this is not going to be easy. There are limited surrogates publicly offering their services in Canada via matching services or informal online groups, and while surrogacy in our country is legally 'altruistic' (you pay for actual losses, but nothing more), fee-for-service money certainly changes hands in many cases. This brings ethics in to the equation. Is it ok to skirt the law in order to secure a surrogate who expects payment for the 'service' she is providing, and is that changing the ethical implications of surrogates in Canada? If most surrogates now expect payment, and you can afford to pay it, do you still wait until you find a legal surrogate, or do you skip the line?

For now, we are sticking to our sense of ethics and the law in Canada and continuing to search for a surrogate that meets our needs and is aligned with the ethical intent of surrogacy in Canada.

I would like to highlight here that I have had multiple offers of surrogacy in the past and declined because we were not ready to pursue it. I also know that I will have friends and family that read this that may be interested in being our gestational surrogate, so to minimize the risk of uncomfortable conversations, here is a list of non-negotiables (for now):

• Must be healthy - this means healthy weight, non-smoker, no heavy drinking, no drugs (including prescription medication)
• Located in Alberta or British Columbia (preferably near Vancouver or Victoria)
• At least one successful, uncomplicated pregnancy and birth
• If there is a spouse/partner, they must be fully on board
• Available for gestational surrogacy late 2016 and in to 2017

I'd also remind you to read my previous guest post on what surrogacy means for the surrogate: Guest Post: What it means to offer to be a surrogate