Here we go

This afternoon I had my appointment with Dr. Scott to discuss our revised plans to do a frozen cycle for Lara and Roland, followed by a fresh cycle for us. After an hour wait (ugh, I hate end of the day appointments), I met with the doctor and her resident.

Holy dramatic change of plans!

Dr. S recommended that we do not do a frozen cycle for Lara and Roland. She showed me the statistics, and a fresh transfer for 31 year old eggs shows a 70% pregnancy rate. A frozen transfer shows only a 35% success rate. So, if we freeze all of Lara and Roland's embryos, we effectively cut their chances of a pregnancy in half.

The other glitch is that if for some reason Lara never responds well and can not build up her lining enough, she'll need to use a surrogate. We have always thought that I'd be the surrogate. However, this is illegal in Canada. Surprising, right? The reason is that it's my egg, so it is effectively an 'adoption', and illegal in this scenario, where I am the donor and surrogate.

So what does this mean? This means that Derek and I are doing our own IVF first, and that will happen soon. As in, possibly starting at the end of this month or mid-February. We will do a fresh transfer, and if it takes, we will do a cycle for Lara and Roland after I finish breastfeeding. If it doesn't take, and if Lara is responding well by then, we can do a fresh cycle for them.

Now we just do what we do best - wait! If they call this week, we will go ahead with it this month. Otherwise, I call the first day of my next period (in just over two weeks) and schedule in.

Calling my sister with this news and new plan was very hard. I understand how upsetting it is to wait for what seems like a million lifetimes to become a mom, and now her wait is extended even more. I know she understands why this is the recommendation and new plan, but I also know she's hurting. It is frustrating when we can't just do it on our own, and more so when you are dependant on another person to help you build your family. Lara, I love you, and I just want you to know that I know you're hurting and upset right now. And that's ok. It will happen for you, trust me. Like you said, 'this is fate', this is how it's supposed to happen.